5 Strategies to Stop Spanking

When it comes to acting on how to stop spanking your child, there are 5 strategies you can do to take charge of the situation.

If the only thing in your parenting toolbox is a Hammer or a Strainer, its time to learn something new. Corporal punishment does not solve the problem and only breeds resentment, rebellion and revenge.

Instead of spanking, take charge. Respond, don’t react.

When you walk into a dramatic scene with screaming or crying children, it’s easy to jump to conclusions about what is going on. The problem is that you might be really off base. The following steps will help you to take charge in a way that will not only get to the bottom of what’s happening but will also allow the children a chance to communicate and own the situation.

  1. Take 5 deep breaths
  2. Say “STOP!”
  3. Say what you see. “I see a big mess in this bathroom.”
  4. Ask a Curiosity question. “Can someone tell me what’s going on?”
  5. Invite the child to be part of the solution.

When you say what you see, you just describe… judgment.

“I see two boys fighting.”

“I see a new toy that is broken.”

“I see two sad faces.”

“I see someone put crayon on the wall.”

“I see books all over the floor.”

A Curiosity question will invite a response.

“Can you help me understand what happened here?”

“What are you doing?”

“Why are you doing that?”

“What were you thinking?”

“How did this happen?”

“What is going on?”

To bring it to resolution, it’s also interesting to invite the children’s input to solve the difficulty.

“What do you think we should do about this now?”

“How can we solve this problem?”

“What ideas do you have to help with this?”

“It looks like we have to figure this out. Any ideas?”

“What do you think should happen now?”

Sometimes adults are busy trying to figure out what punishment to use on their children and they forget that each challenge is an opportunity to teach.

About The Author

Lois Olson

Founder of The Montessori Children's House Inc. Laramie, Wyoming Montessori Primary Certification 1973
Systematic Training for Effective Parenting facilitator certification
Thirty eight years of experience working with children ages 3-6
Twenty five years facilitating parenting groups
Ten years facilitating teacher training
B.A In Psychology

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