A Parent’s Tool Box: Screw Driver and screw

If the only tool you have is a hammer, then you might see many situations as a nail. Explore these other suggestions to see if you might enhance your tool box and also create more effective ways to parent your child.

A Parenting Tool Box

Screw and Screw Driver

We might think  using the screw and screw driver is useful to get our very active children to stay put. Instead think of it as a reminder to focus on making a firm attachment.

The following  will help you and your child make a firm and lasting bond.

  1. Touch: Warm physical contact. Morning hugs. Bed time cuddles. A light and loving touch on the shoulder while talking.
  2. Eye contact: Get down to your child’s level and look into his/her eyes when making a request or listening to your child express herself.
  3. Undivided attention: Being present and laying aside other to-do chores frequently enough for your child to be seen and heard. This shows respect.
  4. Familiarize yourself with Positive Discipline which promotes and helps maintain positive relations between adults and children. It is not rewards and punishment based. ( see Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen)
  5. Unconditional positive regard: Separating the behavior from the child when there are challenges and misbehavior. See “mistakes” as teachable moments.
  6. Reasonable expectations: Understanding based on your child’s level of development and temperament. This allows you to honor your child just as and who s/he is. (See Stanley Turecki’s “The Difficult Child” to learn more about temperament)
  7. Acceptance of Feelings: Allowing the full expression of feelings but limiting destructive behavior
  8. Setting firm limits and boundaries: Children feel safe when they can trust that the parent is in charge. Do not abdicate your sovereignity.
  9. Slowing Down: Resist the urge to do more and spend the day on the run. Schedule in breaks and regular down times to rest, restore and truly connect.
  10. Inclusion: Include the child in the life of the family so s/he can feel like a contributing member. Regular chores and participation in the process of meal preparation go far in helping the child gain skills and also feel a sense of belonging.
About The Author

Lois Olson

Founder of The Montessori Children's House Inc. Laramie, Wyoming Montessori Primary Certification 1973
Systematic Training for Effective Parenting facilitator certification
Thirty eight years of experience working with children ages 3-6
Twenty five years facilitating parenting groups
Ten years facilitating teacher training
B.A In Psychology

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